Language Nerd Alert

I've always felt that the English language is somewhat lacking in the punctuation department. In fact, I don't have enough fingers, toes and teeth to count the number of times my wit or sarcasm have been misunderstood by the receiving party, generally resulting in weeks of silent treatment, death threats or mind bullets being shot my way. Then one fateful day, my brother posted this little language lesson on my Facebook wall and (cue orchestra) it changed my life.

http://9gag.com/gag/6665273?ref=fb.s

Needless to say, this little punctuation lesson made me laugh, giggle, chirp, choke on a sip of tea, etc, etc.

Ya, I'm out.

Apostrophes have rights too

I don't consider myself to have OCD. I love the way a skew painting makes me feel like the whole world is tilted, I can't say I mind too much for nails scraping a black board and I don't particularly get my earlobes in a twist when Mr X rocks brown shoes with black pants. But if there's one thing that really steams my kidneys, it's wrong use of the apostrophe. I'd be lying if I said I haven't typed quite a few snide comments under Facebook statuses in my day, even though I've never had the heart to actually post it.

Now, Ghandi said: "Be the change you want to see in the world." Well, Mr Ghandi, I really want the world to use the apostrophe correctly, so this is me being the change...

Starting with baby steps:

it's vs its 

Now if you're reading this and feeling like...

 

...fear not, fair lady or fiery lad. Once you've grasped that first straw, you'll see it's really not such a scary concept. The first and most basic rule of thumb is (in the words of Shakespeare I think...? I stand corrected): "Dude, you can't just leave out letters and not replace it with something." If you're chucking out letters, the least you can do for those poor mutilated words is to chuck in an apostrophe. This means:

• it is = it is = it's
• it has = it has = it's

So, when you're (you are) writing a sentence and not sure whether to use its or it's, simply ask yourself: Will the sentence still make sense if I use "it is" or "it has" instead?

• If the answer is YES, use it's. 
• If the answer is NO, use its.

Of course, it gets a little more complex down the line - grammar has (it is...? nah) its fair share of mountains to climb, but for now it's (it is) really as simple as that.

No hard feelings...?

When in doubt, buy marshmallows

So tonight I'm playing hostess for our church group. For an after dinner treat, I decided to bake cupcakes from scratch. OK, that's a lie. Let's just say I had a little help from Snowflake. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Anyhoo, when it came to icing the "homemade" lovelies I encountered a slight hiccup: Making icing is such a mission! OK, that's a lie too. I'm actually forbidden by law to make icing from scratch for as long as my brother and I share a flat, putting him at risk of getting stuck with the dishes. That's when I remembered a little golden tip a friend of mine once let me in on at a braai: After the cupcakes come out the oven, place a marshmallow on top and put it back in for a couple of seconds. And that my dear friends, is exactly what I did...

(Excuse the poor quality pics. My camera is still at my... Oh no wait, that's a story for another time.)

Was it successful? Heck, who knows! We'll let the troops decide tonight.

With age comes new vocab

Being a grown up is pretty cool, except that it's not. Five years ago, my biggest worry was whether or not these shoes went with those earrings and how on earth I was going to finish a 300 word essay in only two weeks. The fact is, adulthood would be pretty freaking awesome, if only I never had to utter these depressing sentences:

• So, what's the tax submission deadline this year?
• Let me just go put in some petrol, first.
• Did I switch off the stove/iron/oven/heater?
• I wish I could go, but it's my turn to do the dishes.
• What should we do for dinner tonight?
• Medical aid companies these days are just so unreliable.
• Yeah, and food prices are going up again - where is it going to stop?
• That would've been awesome, dude, but I have to work tomorrow.
• I just need to pick up some window cleaner.
• How do you get a tomato sauce/red wine/curry/beetroot stain out?
• ...and then I really need to do some ironing this weekend. 

Of course adulthood has its perks, but for now, let's just focus on the negative.

Crêpes de YumYum

So tonight my brother and I are hosting a home group meeting at our quaint little garden flat which means I'll be cooking. Now I know what you're thinking: "Cue Jaws themesong! Duuuuh-dum, duuuuh-dum" - now whoa, whoa, hold your stallions for a second. I might not be able to follow a recipe, but I've got tonight covered, beasties. Trust me.What's on the menu, you ask?

PANCAKES!

Red, upper case, bold, italics and underlined.

See, what I love about pancakes is:

1) They're warm and wonderful, perfect winter belly-warmers
2) They might not seem like much, but they pack quite a punch and you can seriously feed an army with a batch! Seeing as our home group mostly consists of monster-appepited (that's a word) dudes, I need to be prepared.
3) They're pretty hard to mess up, whether you read the recipe or not.
4) You can put ANYTHING in, on and around them! So even though Jack, Joe and Jonty might not eat tomato or Steve, Stan and Stewart sneeze like freight trains when they eat pasta, with pancakes no one will go hungry.

Observe:

Leek, mushroom and cheese

Mexican jalapeno and cream cheese

French mushroom, ham and goat's cheese

Bacon, brie and chives

Chicken, leek and wild mustard

Creamy salmon

And EVEN FOR DESSERT! Banoffee

Strawberries, white chocolate, almonds and caramel

Chocolate and raspberry cream cheese

And my personal favourite... Surprise!

So, pancakes it is! If your taste buds are perspiring ever so slightly, I sincerely apologise. To make up for it, here's a recipe for pannekoek that's so simple your goldfish can make it with one eye shut and both fins tied behind it's tail. Oh no darling, don't mention it - you're too welcome!

Ingredients

3 cups of all purpose flour
3 eggs
oil for frying
3 ml salt
15 ml baking powder
4 cups of milk or water

Directions

Sift dry ingredients together. Add milk or water and beat well. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. At this point the consistency of the batter should be runny, but not watery. If you're starving, get cooking! However if your taste buds aren't near the point of exploding just yet, let the batter stand for about an hour. Trust me, it's way more scrummy that way!

When you start baking, heat the pan 'til it reaches quite a high temperature (later when they start burning slightly, you'll know to turn it down a notch Trust me). Add a little oil, and by a little I really-eally mean a little. Like a drop. Once the pan is hot, start baking, one ladle of batter at a time. Once the side begins to lift slightly and the centre is cooked, flip it! If you're a beginner, I suggest sticking to spatula flipping for now. One step at a time, little grasshopper. Once the other side is all golden and perfect, slide it out the pan and fill it with any of the above mentioned goodies... or good ol' cinnamon sugar and lemon juice. Sigh.

All pictures via Good to Know

Word of the day: Snickerdoodle!

My gran used to make [these biscuits] and I used to LOVE [these biscuits] and dip a dozen of [these biscuits]. But never in my life did anyone think to tell me that [these biscuits] are called Snickerdoodles. The name itself is delicious. I mean, half the joy lies in saying that name, people! Quite frankly, I feel a little betrayed.

On a different note, tomorrow is my last day as a desk bound copywriter before I take off into the world of self-employed tea sippers, known to the rest of society as freelancers. Celebrations are in order, me thinks, and snickerdoodles seem like a worthy treat for such a golden occasion.

So, what is this 'snickerdoodle' I speak of? Observe, friend, and prepare for your taste buds to melt:

Tempted yet?

Snickerdoodles (recipe via Real Simple)

Ingredients

    3  cups  all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled
    1  teaspoon  baking soda
    2  teaspoons  cream of tartar
    1/2  teaspoon  kosher salt
    1  cup  (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
    1/2  cup  light brown sugar
    1 1/4  cups  granulated sugar
    2  large eggs
    2  teaspoons  pure vanilla extract
    2  teaspoons  ground cinnamon

Directions

• Heat oven to 375° F. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, cream of tartar, and salt.
• With an electric mixer, beat the butter, brown sugar, and 1 cup of the granulated sugar on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Beat in the eggs and vanilla. Reduce speed to low and gradually add the flour mixture, mixing just until incorporated.
• In a shallow bowl, combine the cinnamon and the remaining ¼ cup of granulated sugar. Form the dough into balls (each equal to 1 level tablespoon). Roll the balls in the cinnamon sugar mixture and place on parchment-lined baking sheets, spacing them 2 inches apart.
• Bake until the edges are golden, 12 to 14 minutes.
• Cool slightly on the baking sheets, then transfer to wire racks to cool completely.
• Makes 60, yes 60 Snickerdoodle-doo's 

What's more, you can fill them with cream cheese frosting...

And prepare yourself for...

SNICKERDOODLE CUPCAKES! Holy moly, indeed.

Usually when people refer to food as "gorgeous", I want to throw myself off the nearest building. But in this case, even I can't think of a better description.

I'm not old, Just senile

I've always had a bit of a thing for cute kiddie books and always imagined myself writing one someday. Then again, kids have enough nightmares of their own without me implanting vivid images of deranged teaspoons and telepathic space monkeys in their fragile little minds. So I've placed that dream on hold until I can remember where I once buried my sanity or my imaginary drug sniffing police dog locates it for me.

In the meantime I'll just let myself be inspired by kiddies books like this one - knock me over with a five foot spatula if this ain't the cutest thing since Nemo (",)

They can sure teach Cathy and Mark and Boet en Saartjie a thing or two.